Endurance. “With a little endurance, you will make it through.” A phrase I have heard many times. I agree, put your best foot forward and plow through the deep waters of whichever circumstance may be weighing heavily at the time. Though today, I was given a different perspective on enduring. Often times when I think of endurance, I think, wow, I must complete this whole big challenge and come through it with flying colors and feel a deep sense of happiness at the end–after I have endured for so long. Enduring, It can be such a cumbersome world that can suck the energy from you along with the fun and enjoyment of life. When I hear the word endure, I can feel my anxiety and panic heighten, knowing I am in for the long haul and that even at the end of it all, I have found other things that need my endurance too. This endurance thing is a lifelong battle it seems. And, a dreaded phrase most of the time. Though, today, today, I was enlightened, I was relieved of my imperfection and the necessity of battling endurance. Today, I have been able to take the word endure and see the positive, happy side of the most dark word somedays. Today, I learned that enduring can be for a few seconds, for an hour, for a day, for a week. It can be adjusted to you and the amount of energy you have to get through the rough waters of life. Much of the time when big goals are holding our for achievement, they become a drag, boring to do and the end gratification seems so far off. With this new view on this word, these achievements seem attainable. Getting through a hectic day with kids, pressing financial burdens, the idea of eating healthy every single day to achieve a fitness goal, health challenges, emotional challenges, spiritual challenges. Today, I learned to endure is adjustable to how much you can handle and take. It is there to nudge along, for encouragement and to realize, yes life is achievable.
I look at him as he sleeps. I think to myself, is he really mine? He was a newborn just yesterday, in reality yesterday was 10 years ago. He sleeps and I slip back into his baby years, my first born. The time we spent together–he and I. Reflecting on one of my most favorite traits about him, his smile and infectious laugh. I prayed he would always keep that with him and not let the weight of the world turn on a frown, that he would push through his challenges no matter what they are. Looking at him, I ache for his struggles–the battle that he fights. A fight where I can be in his army and walk with him in his battle and be his backup where needed. Feeling what he feels will never be a superpower of mine. To walk in his shoes will be as close as I get to his fight. I will battle with him on his journey. I will be happy as he meets his successes. I will stand in his corner as he meets his childhood battles and then some. Patience and understanding will be a battle tool of mine that will be sharpened. Answers will be the treasure. The goal to help him fight his battles while he lives a great life!