Hibernation for Twelve Months, Too Much to Ask?

2004, the year I found out I was pregnant with my first child.  Exciting and new and ready for a new adventure.  Pregnancy progressed and I saw my body changing.  I thought it was just the belly, that is where the baby grew after all.Time progressed, I got through the beginning, the hardest part for me.  Sick, tired and just didn’t quite feel like me.  Once passed the sickness, uncontrolled hunger.  Where did this come from?  I wanted to eat everything and my weight began to reflect it.  40 weeks passed and I gave birth to my firstborn son.  An amazing experience.  Now, I find myself in my 6th pregnancy, my 4th to term pregnancy and I have found that I am not the greatest pregnant woman nor do I marvel in being pregnant.  Hibernation for 12 months or so would not be so much to ask, would it?  Approaching my 28th week, entering my third trimester, I cannot believe the time has past as quick as it has for this pregnancy.  After a miscarry in October of 2013, I feel like I have been pregnant forever (I was able to get pregnant again in November 2014).  In my previous pregnancy, I really didn’t take the time to enjoy the life that was growing inside.  I was focused on the weight I was gaining and why with each pregnancy I feel like I have such lack of control when it come to food during pregnancy.  I have worked to focus on the growth of baby and not worry so much about  my lack of physical activity (though I try to be as active as possible).  My body hurts this pregnancy around and I know that this is the last time I will be pregnant.  I work at focusing on the kicks that are happening inside, the growth, the life that is living vs. the roundness of my face or the extra weight I will be left with after baby arrives.  As I write, she kicks, she moves and I know that she is there. It’s as if she knows that I am writing about her and her life to be.  Life is a miracle, the growth of a child is a miracle. As I realize this, I work to set aside my insecurities to enjoy these last encounters with pregnancy: kicks, side sleeping, rolling out of bed, physical limitations, round belly, awkward pregnancy waddle.  I know as this season of my life comes to a close, I will miss it. Though I am ready for the continued adventures of motherhood and parenting.

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